Mag-absent ku sana ngeni kasi magsadya kami para king outing mi bukas ding choir king Zambales. Adwa ya kasing aldo ita kaya kailangan keng pagsadyan. Kuma ku pang tent king San Fernandu, e malaut-laut ya rin ita. Puyat ku niya bisa ku pa sanang paynawa bayu ke mako bukas kasi 3 AM kanu call time mi. Okay na ku eh, menakit na kung kapalit, nung kayi pwedi na kung mako. Ot kabira e da ku buring palakwan? Nanu’y ta. Ot potang deng aliwa, anggang ala lang kapalit paburen dala mu. Haaay nuko. Kasakit ing makipag-obra. E naman king manyumbat, pero ot makanyan?
This song though.
How lucky can I get? Just when i really have to go home, a breaking news came before the end of the show which delayed my departure. And when I already hit the road, no aircon bus is passing, but when there is, it goes swiftly past me. I need to get on an aircon bus so i can take a nap during the trip. But in my desperation to go home already, I took the ordinary bus. When i was already comfortably seated, the bus stopped because of some traffic obstacle in front which could have been avoided only if the driver was more cautious. It caused monstrous traffic. Lol. My co-passengers came blowing against the driver and the conductor about what happened, which lead to a chaos inside the filthy, stinky, boiling sauna bus. It took us minutes before we got through the obstacle or whatever it was. As of writing, i am roughly 20 minutes away from home. I need to get some sleep. And it’s 11:18pm. And i have to back to work at 2am. I dont know how to make that feasible. Come what may. Bring it on.
This word pretty much defines the whole me. I have been living this word so much that I can already have it as my surname. Weslee Indecisive. From the clothes that I wear, to the food that I eat, to the things I will do up to the biggest decisions of my life.
As of writing, I am on my way to my apartment in Caloocan. Minutes ago, I have gotten off a bus going Pampanga. I have scheduled a night out with friends, to which they have all agreed. But as the bus just hit the traffic in Edsa, I have decided to get off and cancel the meet up I just organized. I don’t know what has gotten into me but I just did that. Queries came from my friends asking what happened, one even got mad as he said he’d cancelled his trip just for the one I have scheduled. I had no concrete reason to tell them. It has just gotten into me that I don’t want to go home anymore, and just would like to spent the rest of the night at home, watching TV or reading a book.
This is just one of those moments when I don’t know if I have made the right abrupt decision or what. At work, it is not helping me as my job demands me to be firm with the decisions I make.
And sometimes, my body rebels with the things I do out of my being unreasonable.
One moment I want this, one moment I want that. One moment I’m going here, one moment I’m going there. It’s not helping.
Well I guess this is who I truly am. A bipolar by heart and by practice. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. Even my decisions of battling it are shakable. Eventually, I know this trait of mine will lead me to a bigger disaster. And I guess I would just have to deal with it. Sooner or later.
Today is our first day without our AP Gelo after he resigned from work. Well, weekdays will really never be the same without him as he is one of the most diligent and enthusiastic people I’ve known, especially when it comes to work. Few days from now, Toni, my co-writer, will be leaving too. Both of them, searching for a greener pasture.
As for me and the rest of the gang, will be left here in the four corners of the newsroom, fcking our brains out for juice to keep us going in the media world.
The past few days in the newsroom are not as normal as they have been. Mainly because of the network’s reaction about this tax policy of the BIR.
People are behaving badly regarding the issue, to the extent that it almost leads to protest of some sorts. As for me who is not really knowledgeable when it comes to taxation, I can’t fully make up how I will respond to the issue. But I’m bothered by the fact that we have to pay this thousands-worth of tax what we failed to pay, or whatsoever.
Last night’s conversation with friends was also a major turn up. We talked about our careers, as we are all not getting any younger.
Right now, I really don’t know where I am and where this is leading to. I have goals, but I don’t know how to achieve them especially with my present situation. My job somehow pays me well but it can only sustain me, not out family and my own family that I will be building sooner or later.